A REal Straight-Shooter

It's probably a psychological shortcoming, but I can't help myself. I'm a big fan of those who like to call a spade a spade. I'm especially captivated by straight-shooters who speak the truth about the so-called elite, who others fawn over because of their wealth or status, rather than because they are smart or creative or have some other unique talent that sets them apart.

Given that, it shouldn't be too hard to figure out why the following post, "Hedge Fund Manager Andrew Lahde Hates Hedge Fund Industry, Quitting Immediately," at Thomson Reuters' peHUB blog really made my day. [bold italics mine]

I remember thinking that the tech bubble had truly burst the day I learned that the Industry Standard magazine had folded. (It was last in a long line of technology business mags to kick the bucket, the punctuation at the end of an era.)

A letter just sent out by hedge fund manager Andrew Lahde — who was widely celebrated earlier this year for the 866 percent return his then one-year-old fund enjoyed in 2007 – communicates the same feeling. The party is over.

His “goodbye,” in which Lahde says the hedge fund industry is broken right now, and that that’s fine with him because he hates it and doesn’t want his life to suck, follows:

October 17, 2008

Today I write not to gloat. Given the pain that nearly everyone is experiencing, that would be entirely inappropriate. Nor am I writing to make further predictions, as most of my forecasts in previous letters have unfolded or are in the process of unfolding. Instead, I am writing to say goodbye.

Recently, on the front page of Section C of the Wall Street Journal, a hedge fund manager who was also closing up shop (a $300 million fund), was quoted as saying, “What I have learned about the hedge fund business is that I hate it.” I could not agree more with that statement. I was in this game for the money. The low hanging fruit, i.e. idiots whose parents paid for prep school, Yale, and then the Harvard MBA, was there for the taking. These people who were (often) truly not worthy of the education they received (or supposedly received) rose to the top of companies such as AIG, Bear Stearns and Lehman Brothers and all levels of our government. All of this behavior supporting the Aristocracy, only ended up making it easier for me to find people stupid enough to take the other side of my trades. God bless America.

There are far too many people for me to sincerely thank for my success. However, I do not want to sound like a Hollywood actor accepting an award. The money was reward enough. Furthermore, the endless list those deserving thanks know who they are.

I will no longer manage money for other people or institutions. I have enough of my own wealth to manage. Some people, who think they have arrived at a reasonable estimate of my net worth, might be surprised that I would call it quits with such a small war chest. That is fine; I am content with my rewards. Moreover, I will let others try to amass nine, ten or eleven figure net worths. Meanwhile, their lives suck. Appointments back to back, booked solid for the next three months, they look forward to their two week vacation in January during which they will likely be glued to their Blackberries or other such devices. What is the point? They will all be forgotten in fifty years anyway. Steve Balmer, Steven Cohen, and Larry Ellison will all be forgotten. I do not understand the legacy thing. Nearly everyone will be forgotten. Give up on leaving your mark. Throw the Blackberry away and enjoy life.

So this is it. With all due respect, I am dropping out. Please do not expect any type of reply to emails or voicemails within normal time frames or at all. Andy Springer and his company will be handling the dissolution of the fund. And don’t worry about my employees, they were always employed by Mr. Springer’s company and only one (who has been well-rewarded) will lose his job.

I have no interest in any deals in which anyone would like me to participate. I truly do not have a strong opinion about any market right now, other than to say that things will continue to get worse for some time, probably years. I am content sitting on the sidelines and waiting. After all, sitting and waiting is how we made money from the subprime debacle. I now have time to repair my health, which was destroyed by the stress I layered onto myself over the past two years, as well as my entire life – where I had to compete for spaces in universities and graduate schools, jobs and assets under management – with those who had all the advantages (rich parents) that I did not. May meritocracy be part of a new form of government, which needs to be established.

On the issue of the U.S. Government, I would like to make a modest proposal. First, I point out the obvious flaws, whereby legislation was repeatedly brought forth to Congress over the past eight years, which would have reigned in the predatory lending practices of now mostly defunct institutions. These institutions regularly filled the coffers of both parties in return for voting down all of this legislation designed to protect the common citizen. This is an outrage, yet no one seems to know or care about it. Since Thomas Jefferson and Adam Smith passed, I would argue that there has been a dearth of worthy philosophers in this country, at least ones focused on improving government. Capitalism worked for two hundred years, but times change, and systems become corrupt. George Soros, a man of staggering wealth, has stated that he would like to be remembered as a philosopher. My suggestion is that this great man start and sponsor a forum for great minds to come together to create a new system of government that truly represents the common man’s interest, while at the same time creating rewards great enough to attract the best and brightest minds to serve in government roles without having to rely on corruption to further their interests or lifestyles. This forum could be similar to the one used to create the operating system, Linux, which competes with Microsoft’s near monopoly. I believe there is an answer, but for now the system is clearly broken.

Lastly, while I still have an audience, I would like to bring attention to an alternative food and energy source. You won’t see it included in BP’s, “Feel good. We are working on sustainable solutions,” television commercials, nor is it mentioned in ADM’s similar commercials. But hemp has been used for at least 5,000 years for cloth and food, as well as just about everything that is produced from petroleum products. Hemp is not marijuana and vice versa. Hemp is the male plant and it grows like a weed, hence the slang term. The original American flag was made of hemp fiber and our Constitution was printed on paper made of hemp. It was used as recently as World War II by the U.S. Government, and then promptly made illegal after the war was won. At a time when rhetoric is flying about becoming more self-sufficient in terms of energy, why is it illegal to grow this plant in this country? Ah, the female. The evil female plant – marijuana. It gets you high, it makes you laugh, it does not produce a hangover. Unlike alcohol, it does not result in bar fights or wife beating. So, why is this innocuous plant illegal? Is it a gateway drug? No, that would be alcohol, which is so heavily advertised in this country. My only conclusion as to why it is illegal, is that Corporate America, which owns Congress, would rather sell you Paxil, Zoloft, Xanax and other additive drugs, than allow you to grow a plant in your home without some of the profits going into their coffers. This policy is ludicrous. It has surely contributed to our dependency on foreign energy sources. Our policies have other countries literally laughing at our stupidity, most notably Canada, as well as several European nations (both Eastern and Western). You would not know this by paying attention to U.S. media sources though, as they tend not to elaborate on who is laughing at the United States this week. Please people, let’s stop the rhetoric and start thinking about how we can truly become self-sufficient.

With that I say good-bye and good luck.

All the best,
Andrew Lahde

Comments

[John Hargreaves]

Beautiful...

[oblomov]

He lost me when he referred to Soros as a "great man".

[dearieme]

I'm trying to decide whether it's more pathetic to suppose that Adam Smith was an American or that Thomas Jefferson was any more than the Dr Goebbels of his time.

[Andrew]

Being orginally from the UK it always annoys me when the destroyer known as Soros gets elevated to some high moral ground. If he wants to be a great man he could begin by letting us have our bloody money back. On the other hand we got it by ripping somebody else off. And in fairness the world is the way it is. Lions eat men and men eat sheep. But why the hell does he imagine he is some kind of philantropist??

[Bob Marley]

And in other news, Vinnie the Wise Guy says the hitman industry isn't all that it's cracked up to be and that he wants to chuck the Crackberry (and the Glock) and spend the rest of his days smoking dope in the California desert. This guy Lahde is awfully sanctimonious. Who really cares? Adios Andrew. Party on.

[Dan W]

Lessons from Gandhi...and Billy Ray Valentine (Capricorn)
Dear Fellow Victims:

Together, daily, we share news of the latest in the greatest financial ripoff in the history of history. Billions---literally---of human beings left to suffer and freeze and starve over the next 5-10 years, as the Plutocrats and Kleptocrats hunker down with their riches, their mansions, their Lamborghinis, etc.

Well, I take my lessons from 2 sources: Mohandas K. Gandhi and Billy Ray Valentine. Gandhi you know, I hope. Valentine, played gracefully by a young Ediie Murphy, was the guy in TRADING PLACES who goes from being poor to rich, at the expense of Winthorp, played gracefully by a skinny Dan Aykroyd. ANYWAY....

So, here's the point:

1. Gandhi organizes a day of "fasting and prayer" to protest British rules in India. Of course, a day of fasting and prayer also means 500 million Indian workers off the job: no trains, no buses, no public works---which effectively leaves 100,000 British ex-pats in India totally cut off from the world. A bad day for the Brits, to say the least.
2. Billy Ray Valentine (Capricorn) points out to Lewis Winthorp--as Winthorp cleans out his shotgun barrel in preparation, one can only assume, for a knee-cap shattering meeting with The Dukes brothers (Randolph and Mortimer Duke, of Duke and Duke Commodities, INC.)---that the way you really get a rich person back is NOT by shooting him, but instead by making him poor.

OK, you with me so far?

Now for the union of Gandhi and Valentine.

It seems to me that the real criminals in all of this are the bankers, the folks in the financial industry, the Paulsons and Bernankes and Fulds and all of the folks who have become wealthy on the backs---and on the debt---of the rest of us. This system of FRACTIONAL RESERVE BANKING, a system in which money = debt, this system can only function and make millionaires of a few while leaving the rest in the dust if and only if the rest of us choose to play.

Look, what terrified Paulson more than anything---and then he convinced Bush to be terrified, and he convinced the scumbags in Congress to be terrified----was the idea of a financial system, whose very existence is dependent upon growth and therefore upon more and more debt, collapsing because the borrowing cycle had been shut down.

These total assholes admitted it, and they assumed the rest of us wouldn't really get it. They said, flat out, that we are risking a systemic financial collapse unless we can get the credit markets working again.

Look, I want you to PLEASE watch this video RIGHT NOW. Afterwards, come back to my post.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-9050474362583451279

OK, now...here comes my thesis...well, not really...ummmm....more like my proposal.

Let's stop playing! I say, get together with people in your community and come up with a plan so that (a) everyone can eat and (b) everyone can stay warm and (c) everyone has water to drink and (d) EVERYONE STOPS PAYING FOR THINGS THAT ARE MAKING THE MOTHERF*****S RICH!!!

To hell with paying taxes! Think about taxes for one second. All of our taxes have to go up, because we have, to this point, lent the FED over a TRILLION dollars---and Scumbag Paulson is giving all of OUR money (money that we have earned through our hard work as teachers, and carpenters, and farmers and police officers, etc.) to the banks so that the credit market will loosen so that the banks will loan us back our money...at interest!!! I say, no more!!!!!!!!!!

I say we need to come together in our communities and protect each other and help each other and go on strike from giving our hard earned money away so that amoral scum like Henry Paulson can make millions more dollars off of us. I am done with that s**t!

We cannot do this alone. Alone we are pariah who get nicked by the FBI and thrown in jail and called extremists. I say, this needs to be a mass movement. A mainstream movement of protest against a financial system that CAN ONLY SURVIVE on the growing debt burden of the ordinary folk.

I may not be William Wallace, and while I like Mel Gibson as an actor I find some of his views about religion rather abhorrent...but I will say this: It is time to claim...OUR FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Anyday Patriot]

Dan W right you are.
Part of the transition will require vigilance and organization.
I see the future where security in communications of ideas and plans will be distributed via flash drives.